Baby #3: 19 Weeks - Real Talk.

Well, I'm 19 weeks 2 days pregnant. I caught myself about to lead in with "....well I dont know how this happened....but I'm PREG-NANT." Then I felt like I was having deja-vu. I looked back to baby #1, and then to baby #2 and it appears that this is just the week that I start feeling "it". You know the "it" I'm talking about.....the one where you are definitely noticeably pregnant to EVERYONE, and the "it" where you can still button your pants (your pre-pregnancy pants) but it's a real risk to anyone within close range, as they could potentially lose an eye when your top button gives way. Yea....that "it". I guess I should be glad that compared to the 10+ lbs I put on during the first 19 wks of my prior pregnancies. to date, I have only put on 5 lbs (4 some mornings). I suspect that number will be increasing exponentially starting very quickly.

I have realized something this week as well. The stage beyond just where you are, always seems to be the hardest. I remember when I was pregnant with Bella I was CONSUMED with the details of how I was going to incorporate baby #2 into my already solid routine with baby #1. I literally lost sleep over it regularly. I all but diagramed it out before Bella got here. And of course, nothing went as planned. BUT what I did learn is that the time I expected for it to take me to adapt was far shorter than I had anticipated. My life certainly changed dramatically, but we all managed to take it in stride. I worked on as little as 2 hours of (broken) sleep. I maintained a nightly schedule with Mia and still got in time with the little one. I bathed somewhat regularly and slept when I could. Maybe it's true (and I know it is) that God really does only give us what we can handle. I feel comfort in that with baby #3 on the horizon. I'm not super stressed about how he's going to sleep or just generally fit into our family, because I know that one way or another he will. And when he gets here, we'll all be so excited to finally meet him, that we won't even remember what it was like before he got here. THAT'S what I'm looking forward to. So while the stage with 2 kids feels like a cake walk to me when I try to look ahead to what having to switch from man-on-man to zone defense is going to be like, I am sure that once I get there, I will realize that while things will HAVE to change, it's do-able. And we'll all come out on the other side, no worse for the wear.

I guess my other "realization" in the last couple weeks spawns from a very good friend of mine who recently gave birth to her second child. Shortly before she was to go in for her scheduled c-section, the doctors found that the baby had a congenital defect that would require immediate attention (via NICU and surgery) post delivery. The prognosis ranges from living a normal life, to not surviving. Heart wrenching for any mother. I have been lucky enough to speak (via text and thanks to fb) with my friend fairly regularly since she gave birth and I can honestly say that she's one of the strongest people I know. Thankfully the baby is doing as well (if not better) than was expected and is stable enough for her first surgery within the week. This is the first leg of a long battle for her and her family. I pray for her often and I know she has an army of others doing the same (if you want to keep up with Baby Matilda, please follow her blog - www.littlematildacrowe.blogspot.com).

Anything can happen. And it's not up to us.

I'm not sure what (if anything) I was supposed to take from hearing this news, but I'll tell you what my take away was.....instead of obsessing over the "rules" of pregnancy, and worrying about staying away from sandwich meat and soft cheeses, I am going to enjoy the moment (or 9 months worth of moments). I'm going to try not to harp over the extra cellulite and saddle bags that accompany all of my pregnancies, and instead focus on the fact that I have been blessed to be able to get pregnant 3 times. I am not going to stress over breastfeeding, postpartum recovery, daycare expenses (or living on one salary), sleep deprivation or how the girls' are going to react to our new family member.....instead I am going to  pray every day that God delivers a healthy baby boy or that he grants me the strength I need for whatever lies ahead.

On a lighter note, we had some crazy weather last week as I'm sure everyone knows. I wasn't able to keep my kids inside, despite my best efforts, so here are some obligatory snow pics....and updated belly pics :)

Enjoying the first and probably ONLY snow of 2015

She LOVED it. She didn't want to touch it.....but would have stayed out there smiling ALL DAY!

She is having more fun than this picture leads on ;)

She kept saying "I'm gonna go get more snow mom, ok?" haha you know, because there wasn't snow RIGHT where she was.....

this just looks like a terrible selfie to you, but to me, I see both of their personalities :)

.....getting more snow......

19 weeks

This is one of my new fav pics, despite it being a bathroom selfie....I love this kid. She's my partner in crime :)

this was about 3 seconds after pulling out of the driveway, we had to sacrifice naptime for lunch at my mom's the other day.....totally worth it, if only for this pic ;)

You're invited to Mia's Doc McStuffin's tea party, all you need to bring is your sunglasses and coolest pjs, the basket of pearls will be shared....

This kid.....there are no words. One of my fav pics of her to date.

Until next time.....please keep baby Matilda and her family in your prayers.