Baby #3: 22 weeks - Hi. My name is Margaret.....

I am super busy at work and home!

My husband let the trash can overflow again, even though he was the last one to shove something into it....or set something on top of it. Doesn't he know it only takes 30 seconds to set outside?! 

I am pregnant....again. 

I'm gaining weight. 

My 3 year old is acting 3 again.

My 1 yr old is unpredictable at night....and during the day. 

I don't have enough money to buy everything that I want, RIGHT NOW. 

I'm tired.

I have to do everything by myself at night.

I never have any alone time.

My hair is way curlier than I want it to be.

Hi. My name is Margaret. And I'm a complainer.

*Everyone in unison*  

"Hi Margaret."

Omg. I want to punch myself in the face.

Let me address the above:

I am a pregnant mom of 2 children ages 3 and under, with a social life and a full time job. If I were not busy, it'd be because I was forgetting something.

I married a man.

I'm pregnant - FOR THE 3rd TIME. This is AMAZING. Not terrible.

I'm pregnant - FOR THE 3rd TIME. 

She's 3.

She's 1.

I'm a brat.

I'm pregnant - FOR THE 3rd TIME!

I have a hardworking husband.

I'm pregnant - FOR THE 3rd TIME!!

Seriously, shut up.

I complain a lot ya'll. And to be honest, I don't have a lot to complain about.

I mean, let's face it, we can ALL find SOMETHING to complain about. But I am realizing, I don't want to be that person. And for the record, I don't feel like venting to your girlfriends on the reg groups you into the "complainer" category, although I feel like I prob "vent" more often than I should too.....

Let's look at the facts. I am a healthy 30-something, with a blossoming career where I get to work close to my house, with a boss who genuinely understands that I WILL be out with sick children, and that it will not always be when it's "convenient" for anyone, also where I enjoy pretty stellar benefits and have been allowed to be able to choose between working or staying home, as opposed to my salary making the decision for me. I have a husband, whom I fell in love with the moment we first talked, who has never ONCE given me any indication that he was/would be anything but faithful to me and our marriage, who works hard and supports our family but who also finds time to spend with me and creates special moments to bond with our children - whom he helped me make. I have TWO absolutely BEAUTIFUL little girls who are healthy, and always have been, and smart.....and HILARIOUS. Any hard times I have had as a parent have been generally due to developmental markers that people have written books about (terrible twos, bedtime shenanigans, potty training, sleep training, paci, etc....) and outside of that, I don't have a fear of taking them in public due to outbursts (not that it never happens, but thankfully it's not something I can count on) or blatant disregard for my instruction. I have my ENTIRE family living in the metroplex and actively engaging with both Dan and I and our children on a regular basis....just because they want to. I have two sets of Grandparents within 10 miles of my house willing to watch our children at almost any given time, and one set who keeps them over night almost weekly. I have the support of amazing girlfriends who I can say I have had relationships with for at least a decade in most cases. All of whom would drop anything they were doing at a moments notice if anyone in my family needed help. 

I'm 22w5d pregnant, and for the record, I feel great. I'm happy and am realizing that despite my tendencies, I really have no reason to complain. I've put on around 10 lbs which according to everything I've read is normal (despite my own body image issues). I finally gave in this morning and have officially made my conversion to maternity jeans. I will likely still have moments of delirium where I try to convince myself I can squeeze into my pre-pregnancy pants, but I'm trying to be real here.....that biz is just not OK anymore. I am still working out 6-7 times a week, cooking at home a lot (or should I say, eating what Dan cooks a lot), enjoying time with the girls and trying to get in more time with the hubs. Life is good.

I have been feeling baby boy move around a lot more lately. Mia even felt him the other morning. She was amazed. It's so cool that she is so aware of what's going on this time around. I have a feeling she's going to be a huge asset come July. 

My next appointment is at 24 weeks, and the weekend following that, we will be making our first trip as a family of 4....to San Antonio!! We are so excited. I'm sure it will be chaotic getting packed up and out of town, but I'm really looking forward to our weekend together. 

Here is another fab pic of me at 22w4d just post workout, which I wish could explain my hair and face, but honestly I looked not much better before ;) - and Mia brushing her teeth. We take dental health very seriously in our house ;)

And just for grins....this is me at 22w with Bella. I mean, I'm not being self deprecating, but I am very much larger this time than I was last. At least in my stomach....

Baby #3: Week 21 - for the love of cereal....pick a name already!

21 weeks and a few days today. Nothing new to report. I am tired this week....must be all the empowerment I've been feeling lately catching up with me. I am happy to say I wrapped up week 1 of Focus T25 and started week 2 on Monday. I should note that this is further than I got the first time I started this program at 6 mo pp. I guess that means things in my house have finally calmed down.

Aside from being a little more tired I really feel no different. No more pregnant than last week....although when I look in the mirror, my reflection tells a different story.

This is a terrible picture, and I almost waited to take another one tonight but then I figured - what the hay....this is REAL ya'll. I needed 4 seconds to focus the camera and snap a pic, and in that 4 seconds, Mia NEEDS to see my pictures on my phone. RIGHT NOW. So, here's me - 21w2d and Mia very much 3 yrs old :) Bella (not shown) is busy pulling everything out from under my sink. Just good clean fun on any given evening at the Jones house.

What is new this week/month is my obsession.....let's talk for a minute about cereal. Raisin Bran, any kind of granola......who invented this crazy wonderful stuff??! Is it breakfast? Is it a snack? Is it the perfect dessert? YES! It's all of those.....and so much more. Remember a month ago when I could not stop thinking about donuts? Well I'm not sure what shifted in the universe.....but donuts have nothing on a big bowl of raisin bran with soy milk. I blame El Nino. Also mustard. I don't blame mustard, but I can't get enough of it....who knew it was the condiment that goes with EVERYTHING?? Another one of my favs at the moment....but it pales in comparison to cereal.

I digress....

In case you were wondering, we still don't have a name picked out. We don't even really have a list. We have intermittent discussions which often include the same names, but in one discussion a name can be agreed on and and in the very next, it will be marked off the list. This is weird for us, ya'll. It's weird. It's not the Jones way of doing things. We had a names picked at 14 wks with both of our previous kids....yes, that's weird for everyone else, but for us, it's normal. Boy names are HARD. And let's just talk for a minute about how when you have multiple children, there are more things to consider when choosing a name....Baby #1 sets the tone. We named our first child Amelia. We call her Mia. That was decided BEFORE she got here. We named our second child Arabella. We call her Bella. That was decided BEFORE she got here. So, both of our kids have A names, that are long, with nicknames. Their first names are more traditional, grown up. Their nicknames are short and cute and very much age appropriate. So in following suit we had a perfect A name picked out for what we knew was going to be a baby girl. Wellllll.....it's not a girl. And we don't have a cute boy name picked out. And does the boy's name have to start with A? Does it have to be long? Does it need a nickname (depends who you ask)? H-A-R-D. Not to mention that I will totally think I am sold on a name, then I wake up the next day....and I hate it. What is wrong with me?! So yea. No name. No prospective name. I just expect to hear a name and have the Ah-Ha! moment......is that unreasonable? I did with both of our girls. I love their names. And now here I am with 19 more weeks left....plenty of time to find the perfect name.....having dreams that we are sitting in the delivery room with name books totally frustrated with each other because we can't agree!

*deep breath in*

*deep breath out*

And can I be honest here?? Another reason names are hard is because I still have 19 weeks to hear everyone's opinion about what we choose. That was never hard for me with girls, but has been overwhelming with the hunt for boy names. Here I go, being a female....brace yourself....

I think Dan and I should choose the name. We discuss, we arrive at what we consider suitable possibilities, then I run it by people (the people close to me are not generally the culprits and it is my mistake for sharing too much with people not "close" to me), and they - to my surprise - express their true and honest opinions EVEN IF THEY DON'T LIKE THE NAME! WHA?!?!?? Again, it's my fault. If I like a name then it really shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks, right? Right. Well, I'm pregnant and have these things called "hormones" that make me think and feel crazy things. And my feelings get hurt. Even if I tell myself they wont.

But here's the other thing.....if someone's opinion could sway how I feel about a name I thought was a possibility, do I really like the name that much?!? Yea, I don't know. My answer so far has been 'no'. So, even with 19 weeks left as much as I want to stop calling this baby "Baby Boy", I am kinda OK not knowing the name myself. Because then when people ask "Do you have a name picked out?" I can answer honestly and say "no." And walk away with my feelings in tact.

The truth is, we have plenty of time. And I'm sure when we announce to the world what our son's name is upon his arrival, everyone will ooooh and aaaaah, and not because they like it or it because it would be their choice, but because it will be his name. And they will love him. And to be honest, we will love it, because it's his name and because we love him. And that's what matters, right?

But yea.....so about that cereal.....

Baby #3: 20 weeks - I believe this train has left the tracks.....

I feel good, ya'll. like really good. Don't get me wrong, I feel pregnant. But good pregnant. Make sense? I have found one thing to be true with this pregnancy - I feel stronger, healthier, more energetic.....dare I say empowered??  It's a weird choice of words, I know. (Ok, that's like 4 things....)

What's different? Well, it's a boy. So maybe I don't have the extra estrogen dragging me down. Or maybe, just maybe.....it was a choice. Maybe. I was surprised to be expecting again and only a year after my second baby no less! I was not prepared. I was not "ready" to give my body away for another year. The body I had JUST gotten back. I was not ready to find ways other than wine to cope with stress. I was making plans for this summer when I would be "baby-free" in our new house and new pool (lounging with a frozen cocktail steeped in tequila), in my old body. I was not ready for this. So, I had to make a choice. This was not a snap decision. It was not one that came without it's share of sulking and self pity. But, I made it. Instead of this pregnancy being a hindrance on what my goals were for the year (I want to run a half marathon and live a healthier life in general), I decided it would be my motivation. During the last 20 weeks I have run (weather and illness permitting) 3 times a week (made it back to 2.5 miles last week!) and as of last week, I've started strength training via my Focus T25 videos (you know, the ones no one has time for??). Turns out when your husband is not out of town and you don't have a newborn, and your 3 yr old can keep herself entertained for short amounts of time, 25 minutes is not as hard to come by.

Now, I am not naive enough to think that I can keep this up for the next 20 weeks....but you better believe I'm going to try! I honestly can't recall having this much energy in my last pregnancies. And even if I did, I certainly never funneled it this way. When I am pregnant, I am one who has cravings. And they're weird ones. And some of them have nothing to do with food. Well, with Mia, they ALL had to do with food. But with Bella, for at least 2 months, I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every morning for breakfast. Without fail. And every morning it was like heaven had culminated between two pieces of bread. Then one morning, the thought of peanut butter made me want to hurl. With my first two pregnancies, I ordered a side of jalapenos with EVERYTHING. Y'all....seriously....everything. Eggs, burgers, salads....everything. This go round, I get heartburn thinking about jalapenos.....and sadly, pickles, which I also love. During my first pregnancy, I couldn't sleep without my big pregnancy pillow. I mean, from like week 8....Every. Night. When I was pregnant with Bella, I used to lay on a heating pad for 15 minutes (timed by my over protective husband) every night. Like, I couldn't go to sleep without doing it. This time.....I HAVE to workout. For now. Also, the peanut butter and jelly thing is back. I mean seriously, whoever thought of that combo was a genius! But despite waking up at o'dark thirty every morning and GOING until Bella is in bed at 7 (yes I realize it's a blessing, but please read the first part of my sentence - O-DARK-THIRTY, it's early), I look forward to working out at night. And I can't even say it's so that I can see the results of my hard work. Because let's face it....the only way the scale is going for me, is up. And I'll be honest, maybe I'm trying to stop it from going up so quickly or at such a steep incline.....but mostly I am doing it because it feels good to me right now. It makes me feel strong - but not just physically. I feel like maybe if I'm 20 weeks pregnant with 2 kids and I can find time and energy to workout, then maybe JUST MAYBE I can do this. With three kids. And a job. Because, yea, I'm coming back to work. But I don't want to talk about it....yet. So yea, I think part of it is a craving for me internally, and it's obviously good for me physically, but I feel like I am mentally preparing for what is about to happen to me as well. And since wine is not longer available (in the quantities I need it) for sorting this sort of thing out, I am working out. And I am loving it.

Is it possible that the reality of three kids has already made me a complete loon? It was just a few weeks ago that I remember feeling totally overwhelmed by the thought, and now I look around and think.....ok, Let's Do This. I think it's possible that that hour we lost had my sanity packed in it's bag. And it's likely that come September when I'm bleeding from my nipples and leaking from everywhere else, on no sleep and haven't showered or brushed my teeth in a week, when we get that hour back, I will realize what a lunatic I am being right now. So, like crazy people do, I'm going to bask in it for now.....and simply say that for the first time in ANY pregnancy, I'm really having an awesome time ;)

Now, all this crazy talk could have been spurred on my 20 week appointment yesterday. We got to see our little man again and it was incredible. How is it even possible to love something so much?? We confirmed he's a BOY! And watching him on the screen just made me fall in love. So crazy how much he was moving and I could hardly feel anything. He was sucking his thumb for most of it, just like his big sis, Mia. Our sono tech printed us like a million pictures and I swear I have already spent more time than is normal just staring at them :) I have managed to pack on 8 LBs in the last month, so I was surprised when the sono tech told me that he is measuring right at 20w which is perfect, Everything looked great according to the docs and assuming all goes as planned, we probably won't see him again until he makes his big debut!

Below are some pics of Baby Boy (whose name is still unknown, but I think we are getting closer) and some of me this week.

Ladies and Gentlemen.....my son ;) 

sucking his thumb like big Sis Mia 

20 wks

And just one more little thing.....You know those other two kids running around my house? The adorable ones with the big blue eyes and miraculous blonde hair (we're still not sure how that happened)? Well they are just growing up before my eyes. 16 weeks ago when I found out I was pregnant again, I looked at my girls and just thought, they are so little! And as weird as it sounds, in the last 4 months, they have just blossomed. Bella is less and less a baby by the hour. Seems like she is picking up new words daily - this morning was "baby", "nana" (banana) and "bow" (which she walked to the mirror to admire once I clipped it to a curl on the top of her head). And Mia, she is constantly coming to me and rubbing my tummy and kissing it and talking to it.....it's so cool that she knows what is happening this time. It makes me feel even closer to her (and it's hard to feel closer to someone who is verging on being inside your ass every second). I just love my little family. My husband included....who really does have a special bond with our girls, and just lights up when he talks about our boy (it doesn't hurt that he's been making dinner on the grill every night either).....maybe it's the hormones.....but I just can't wait. :)

Headed up to meet sissy - and yes that is a marshmellow in her hand, and yes I bribe my children with marshmellows ;) (marshmallow?? why does that word look weird?)

Mia was explaining to Bella how "babies don't eat cake...." there are a lot of things that according to Mia, "babies don't do" - most of them involve her toys.

5 sec chill sesh post bath

LOVE this girl <3

bath time giggles :)

Baby #3: 19 Weeks - Real Talk.

Well, I'm 19 weeks 2 days pregnant. I caught myself about to lead in with "....well I dont know how this happened....but I'm PREG-NANT." Then I felt like I was having deja-vu. I looked back to baby #1, and then to baby #2 and it appears that this is just the week that I start feeling "it". You know the "it" I'm talking about.....the one where you are definitely noticeably pregnant to EVERYONE, and the "it" where you can still button your pants (your pre-pregnancy pants) but it's a real risk to anyone within close range, as they could potentially lose an eye when your top button gives way. Yea....that "it". I guess I should be glad that compared to the 10+ lbs I put on during the first 19 wks of my prior pregnancies. to date, I have only put on 5 lbs (4 some mornings). I suspect that number will be increasing exponentially starting very quickly.

I have realized something this week as well. The stage beyond just where you are, always seems to be the hardest. I remember when I was pregnant with Bella I was CONSUMED with the details of how I was going to incorporate baby #2 into my already solid routine with baby #1. I literally lost sleep over it regularly. I all but diagramed it out before Bella got here. And of course, nothing went as planned. BUT what I did learn is that the time I expected for it to take me to adapt was far shorter than I had anticipated. My life certainly changed dramatically, but we all managed to take it in stride. I worked on as little as 2 hours of (broken) sleep. I maintained a nightly schedule with Mia and still got in time with the little one. I bathed somewhat regularly and slept when I could. Maybe it's true (and I know it is) that God really does only give us what we can handle. I feel comfort in that with baby #3 on the horizon. I'm not super stressed about how he's going to sleep or just generally fit into our family, because I know that one way or another he will. And when he gets here, we'll all be so excited to finally meet him, that we won't even remember what it was like before he got here. THAT'S what I'm looking forward to. So while the stage with 2 kids feels like a cake walk to me when I try to look ahead to what having to switch from man-on-man to zone defense is going to be like, I am sure that once I get there, I will realize that while things will HAVE to change, it's do-able. And we'll all come out on the other side, no worse for the wear.

I guess my other "realization" in the last couple weeks spawns from a very good friend of mine who recently gave birth to her second child. Shortly before she was to go in for her scheduled c-section, the doctors found that the baby had a congenital defect that would require immediate attention (via NICU and surgery) post delivery. The prognosis ranges from living a normal life, to not surviving. Heart wrenching for any mother. I have been lucky enough to speak (via text and thanks to fb) with my friend fairly regularly since she gave birth and I can honestly say that she's one of the strongest people I know. Thankfully the baby is doing as well (if not better) than was expected and is stable enough for her first surgery within the week. This is the first leg of a long battle for her and her family. I pray for her often and I know she has an army of others doing the same (if you want to keep up with Baby Matilda, please follow her blog - www.littlematildacrowe.blogspot.com).

Anything can happen. And it's not up to us.

I'm not sure what (if anything) I was supposed to take from hearing this news, but I'll tell you what my take away was.....instead of obsessing over the "rules" of pregnancy, and worrying about staying away from sandwich meat and soft cheeses, I am going to enjoy the moment (or 9 months worth of moments). I'm going to try not to harp over the extra cellulite and saddle bags that accompany all of my pregnancies, and instead focus on the fact that I have been blessed to be able to get pregnant 3 times. I am not going to stress over breastfeeding, postpartum recovery, daycare expenses (or living on one salary), sleep deprivation or how the girls' are going to react to our new family member.....instead I am going to  pray every day that God delivers a healthy baby boy or that he grants me the strength I need for whatever lies ahead.

On a lighter note, we had some crazy weather last week as I'm sure everyone knows. I wasn't able to keep my kids inside, despite my best efforts, so here are some obligatory snow pics....and updated belly pics :)

Enjoying the first and probably ONLY snow of 2015

She LOVED it. She didn't want to touch it.....but would have stayed out there smiling ALL DAY!

She is having more fun than this picture leads on ;)

She kept saying "I'm gonna go get more snow mom, ok?" haha you know, because there wasn't snow RIGHT where she was.....

this just looks like a terrible selfie to you, but to me, I see both of their personalities :)

.....getting more snow......

19 weeks

This is one of my new fav pics, despite it being a bathroom selfie....I love this kid. She's my partner in crime :)

this was about 3 seconds after pulling out of the driveway, we had to sacrifice naptime for lunch at my mom's the other day.....totally worth it, if only for this pic ;)

You're invited to Mia's Doc McStuffin's tea party, all you need to bring is your sunglasses and coolest pjs, the basket of pearls will be shared....

This kid.....there are no words. One of my fav pics of her to date.

Until next time.....please keep baby Matilda and her family in your prayers.