It's like waking up from a coma.....(Bella 12 mo, Mia 3 yr)

I'm back. I was in a coma like state for several months, but instead of being unconscious in a bed, I was ridiculously occupied. Ridiculously. Seriously. It was ridiculous.

Where to begin is the real question. I had to glance back at my last post and it appears there was no indication of the absolute chaos that has been my life since the beginning of summer. I feel like everything started one night when Dan and I were sitting on our back porch talking about what we wanted to do with our back yard. Long story short, our conversation ended with - Let's sell the house! Fast forward through 2 months of showings, followed by one month of packing, followed by 2 weeks of imposing on my parents, followed by another move and the subsequent settlement in our new home in McKinney. And just for grins, let's throw in a family trip and two job changes....just to spice things up. Honestly, as much as I've tried, I just can't figure out why it's been 3 months since my last post.

I think the important thing to note is that we made it. We survived a move with 2 kids 2 and under. We both undertook new roles and responsibilities and we all survived. And we all still love each other. You don't have to tell ME that God had his hand in this. It's the only way we came out unscathed on the other end.

Now here we are. We just celebrated my FIRST baby's 3rd birthday. Do you remember when/why I started this blog? She's it. The when and the why. I still can't believe she's 3. But then, I talk to her and she tells me things like "the sky is blue? Well how does that work??" or things like "Mommy, stop getting under my feet!", or she tells me she wants to read me her favorite book before bed, and to my surprise she has EVERY WORD of this 45 page book memorized. Either that or she legit knows how to read and someone neglected to inform me. It's those moments that I think to myself, there's no way she's ONLY three. She's at a stage where she wants to do everything by herself, but if she could do it from inside my skin, she'd be elated. Her staunch independence and insane desire to be close to (verging on inside of) me are contradictory and oddly comforting. It reminds me that she's growing up, but also tells me she still needs me. She frequently tests the limits of my patience (and frequently tests out exactly how many times the word "mommy" can be said during a 30 minute car ride before my head starts spinning around like in one of those horror movies) and then in the next breath has me cracking up. She's the smartest, funniest kid I've ever met in my life. She has a love for her sister too that just blows my mind. It's like the two of them have their own language....I can't even explain it, but despite Bella's inability to communicate or play on Mia's level, they still chase each other around and laugh hysterically as though there is no age difference at all. Thinking about it makes me see what everyone was saying - One day they will play together and you'll realize why people have kids close together. I see it. I definitely see it. And I love it.

We are gearing up now to celebrate Bella's birthday next week. You know, because she's been around 1 year now. She is 1 year old. 12 months. Nope, it doesn't matter how I say it.....it still doesn't feel real. This kid.....she's amazing. I remember my fears going into kid #2, that seemed so genuine at the time. Would I have enough love, patience, attention?? I do. I love this baby more than I ever dreamed possible. It is exactly like when Mia was born....that kind of love. The same. But beautifully different. Bella is such a good tempered baby. She smiles ALL THE TIME. And her laugh.....I can't help but smile when I think about it. Now she is still crawling and trying to figure out the whole standing without help thing. I caught her stand up for a few second the other night. I forgot how exciting that is! She says things like "dada", "mama", "yia-yia" and the newest addition/my personal favorite - "UH OH!". THE. BEST. I don't even mind that she intentionally throws her paci on the floor and then follows it with "Uh-Oh!" as though it inadvertently slipped....In other Bella news, she is completely off baby food and formula - THANK YOU GOD, MAMA GOT A RAISE! She is also shaking her head NO (no idea where this baby, who never met an electrical socket or set of stairs she wasn't immediately drawn to would have learned that, its a mystery), waving bye and blowing kisses. She goes through phases where she sleeps 10-12 hours a night, and then a tooth comes in or the wind changes or she fears I will become rested....and then we go back to waking at night. Lets face it though, I have slept, like REALLY slept in like a year. So being more tired is not really an option. I consider any extra I get to be a bonus, and after 4 days of no sleep, my family just understands that I'm going to be a bitch. Its just a fact. Like we all know the sun is going to come up in the morning. So they just deal with it. Normally on day 5, Bella is tired too though and we all get a break.

So, now that we are settled, and the kids are settled, and things seem to be peaceful, I am finally starting to wake from this coma of chaos. I have started running again, and 1 year later, am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It's about freaking time. I'm not even gonna dive into that can of worms, but I will say that despite being in my pre-pregnancy close for 6-ish months, being back to my weight has really helped me gain back the self confidence I was missing post baby. In addition, we are trying to eat better. Dan has said that he is open to trying out the Paleo diet so I've researched some recipes and right now, we are at about a 50% success rate. Not good enough to dive in head first. But it's a start. I think once I find some recipes I like I'll post them on here so if you have any interest in that kind of stuff, you'll have a jumping off point (promises the over confident blogger who hasn't blogged in 3 months).

So there you have it, that's the update. Well aside from the job thing. Dan and I both are numbers people, his title is the same, he's just working for a much better company. I moved from Accounting to Sales, but I still deal with the numbers. We both love our new jobs and are overall very happy with where we are at both individually and as a family. And lets face it.....isn't that the ultimate goal??

Bella, the forgotten child - 9(ish) months

Dear Bella,

I hope that you never look back and realize that when I was pregnant with your sister I posted a blog weekly leaving a record of her every in-utero movement. And I hope you don't wander across the blog that I created after she was born (Errr....this blog...) documenting all of her monthly milestones and measurements, her pictures I posted of every "first" and PLEASE for the love of all things holy, don't go searching around for "your" baby book. I'm terrible. I love you, but I have been terrible at documenting your life.  Now, I'm going to take part of the blame for that, but you should know that you just recently began sleeping through the night.....so, I hate to break it to you, but part of this is on you ;)

You know what, we're going to start fresh....from the fun stuff. You will be 9 months old next week and I can tell you that this is my favorite month yet! You have been sitting up on your own for some time now (notice I am uncertain of when you started doing this, but I believe it was around 6 mo). Sitting, by the way, is AWESOME.....for you and mommy both. Around the same time you started going to town on baby food. We started you once a day at night, but you have very quickly become a 3 square kinda girl. We moved you into your bedroom to sleep around 5 months. Mostly because you were sleeping IN mommy's bed very regularly and mommy was scared to death that you would remain there for the duration. Don't get me wrong, I love having you close.....but I also learned that I need sleep. Any amount will do, but some-ish is totally necessary for me to function in society. For the next couple of months you still woke once a night to eat. It is likely because I made sure to advise people when your sister was a baby of what a terrible idea it was to feed your baby if they cried in the middle of the night. You know, because I was an expert after my first child who slept through the night freakishly at 10 weeks old. Finally about a month and a half ago, you started sleeping all the way through the night. And for that, I thank you. Seriously....world. Of. Difference. Now you go to bed around 7 and you wake up around 6. It's amazing. You, like your big sis, are already super routined at night. I have to giggle sometimes....I mean, I know I did it to you, but still, you are like clockwork! We come home after school, you eat some puffs while I get sister's dinner ready, then you guys eat together. you eat a few more puffs while I clean up then we all go upstairs for bathtime. You and I watch as Mia performs her songs and dances before bathtime, then you both hop in for a bath. You love splashing in the water and chewing on all the letters floating around :) You never even seem to notice me washing your hair or body, which is fine by me. Once we're done, I get you out and dressed while Mia plays a little longer. Then you play while I get her in her jammies. We all head downstairs, you start a bottle while Mia watches a show, then you and I head upstairs to finish your bottle and rock before I lay you in your crib for bed. You rarely fuss once I put you down. Again...awesome. You like to sleep head down, booty up. It's adorable, but at this point, just about everything you do is. Except in the mornings when I'm about to walk out the door and you spit up all down my pant leg, then I don't notice it until someone at work points it out to me.....that's not so adorable. But everything else....precious.

You also started crawling about a month ago (just before 8 months). You started as an army crawler and now occasionally you will get those knees under you and make it legit. Whether you are on your knees or your tummy....YOU ARE FAST! I also turned around the other day to see you had pulled yourself up on Mia's ottoman in her room! I couldnt believe it. And you didn't look surprised at all....but you were very proud of yourself. You just lit up, like you always do in the mornings.

You started saying "da-da" and "ma-ma" around 8 months too. It really depends on who you ask as to "what you said first", but I know I heard "MAMA!". It was loud and clear, and OBVIOUSLY you were talking about me and not merely making sounds. Clearly you're already light years ahead of the game.

You moved up a class in daycare 2 weeks ago. We have since made 2 visits to the doctors office. Welcome to suite 150!! You seem to be doing very well in there though aside from the whole Hand, Foot, Mouth thing....and subsequent ear infection.

Well those are all the big things, milestone wise. But I saved my favorite thing for last. It's not a new thing, but it has been and will likely remain my favorite.....your smile. Arabella, you have a smile that lights up the room. And the best part about it, is that you're not stingey with it! You smile at everyone :) It is the first thing I wake up to and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I miss it while I'm at work and I'm jealous of your teachers for getting to see it all day long. My next favorite thing is your fake laugh....WHY DO MY KIDS HAVE FAKE LAUGHS??? I swear one day, you'll think I'm funny. When it's Mia doing something silly like tickling your feet, blowing on your tummy or back, or throwing a ball (clearly she got my skills in sports), you bust out the real deal....but you've got the fake one in the pocket for your old mom, if she's not cutting the mustard ;)

So Bella, there you have it. You're 9 months worth of awesome. I hope you don't ever look back and think I didn't love you because I didn't write things down as much. Please know that I cherish it all. Every smile, every tantrum (which you've perfected as well), every fake laugh, every time you clap your hands (even when you miss), and every time you kick your feet because you see someone you recognize and love (especially your Daddy). And the best part about it is.........second child or not, you're my first and only Arabella.

I love you, Boo.

Love,
Mommy

First time in a high chair! Eating out just got real.

Crazy hat day at school!

First puffs

Bathtime is the BEST time!

Straight chillin'

Frozen tethers rock. That is all. Also, walkers rock.

Pool time!

My loves <3

Check you out....hot stuff ;)

Our nightly pre-bedtime ritual :)

First real finger foods! We are one step closer to no more baby food!! 

If only mommies could write prescriptions....

If I could write prescriptions, I would miss 99% less work and my kids 99% less school and I would have have saved enough money in co-pays to put a downpayment on a decent sized boat we've been dreaming about for years now! Can I get an 'AMEN!'??

So, I feel like I have spent the last month (my FAVORITE MONTH) nursing one or both of my children and/or husband/self to health. The. Whole. Month. Let's start it out with a double ear infection followed by a single ear infection followed by another ear infection (which they considered the same ear infection) for my youngest. Oh and for those without children I should tell you (because I didnt know) that an "ear infection" can be disguised as a cough and runny nose coupled with midnight scream sessions over the course of a week. And despite what doctors say there does not HAVE TO BE a fever........We then had a night of projectile vomit/other goodness from Mia, which turned in to a week of "when is this 24 hr bug going to leave us?!" for both Mia and myself. We closed it out with a weekend of Dan experiencing all the "fun" that Mia and I partook in the week prior. And now.....we have made it full circle. Bella has another ear infection. Oh wait....the doc said its not really an ear infection. Hey, I get it, I didnt go to med school. Me, I'm just the woman who has lived through a month long ear infection and knows from the sight of the first runny nose and the sound of the FIRST CRY what an ear infection is. I dont care what they say. My child has an ear infection. And when I have to go BACK to the doctor on Friday.....we will further confirm what I think. But....so goes life.

I hate it when my kids are sick. I hate it even more when I take them to the doc when they are sick and am told they are not, in fact, sick. I hate it. Why would I possibly hate my kids NOT being sick? Because that means that they hurt in some way that medicine can't help.....and that I can't seem to help either. Oh, my next favorite thing aside from the not sleeping that comes a long with a new baby is the not being able to give them anything until they are two for any sort of relief in these situations. So what have we been doing? Well for a couple of nights, Dan and I switched off sleeping in the recliner with Bella. Last night I played with her until she literally bent over her cute chubby legs and passed out mid grab at the remote.

Being a mom is hard. Being a parent is hard. Not having a prescription pad at my arms reach is probably safer than the alternative....but it's still hard too.

Moms, you're doing a good job. Even when you're tired. Even when you don't know what's wrong (or when you know, but the doctors don't agree...). Even when you think you're not. You are. Keep it up.

Maybe I just needed to hear this myself. But I assure you, it's true in every one of our cases. My husband told me the other day "what you do is amazing. I could never do it like you do." It was the biggest compliment of my life. And you know what I said?? "I know." ;)

Struggles (Bella 6 Mo)

Hello friends. I'm back. I have several posts at mind so not sure where this one will fall in the scheme of things, but its certainly something that's weighing on me lately. I'm not sure why all of a sudden, but it just is....I'm struggling. In life. With EVERYthing.

Do you ever feel like you are just barely getting by in every aspect of your life? Like you're too busy to do anything "right"? Like you're so tired all the time,  but the only time you have to yourself is at night, so you stay up even though you know you'll only be more tired the next day? Like just when you think your 6 mo old is at the brink of sleeping 10 hrs a night, she gets an ear infection that lasts 3 FREAKING weeks and totally throws a monkey wrench into the "regular" sleep you were getting. And then the nights that your 6 month old decides to sleep 10 hrs, your toddler decides she is going to wake SCREAMING multiple times, and then does it every night for the rest of the week as well. I'm struggling, ya'll. Like big time.

I'm working at least 45 hours a week and still busy to the point where I forget I have to pee while I'm there. I rush to daycare because I feel guilty about how long my kids spend there, then rush home, because if I don't get Mia's dinner on the table before her inevitable "poop sesh" in the bathroom, then she won't eat at all. Then I rush to get both kids bathed and in jammies so that I can get Bella in bed before Mia goes down so that I dont have to try and LITERALLY be two places at once. Then I rush to clean up the house so my husband doesnt think a natural disaster has struck our living room, and God forbid I eat before 9:30 PM. I'm just rushed.***

 Meanwhile, I'm short with my toddler because, well....she's 2 and knows it all. I can't ask her to do something that she immdediately agrees to, like....ever. I feel like I'm missing milestones with the baby and feel guilty that I dont work every night on trying to get her to sit up and say "mama" or "dada" or really anything.....And let's not even get started on keeping up with anyone who doesn't actually LIVE at my house....

I'm not the only mom of two who works. I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel here. I just need to know I'm not crazy. Is this one of those things, like bringing home newborn #2, that is insurmountably hard at the beginning, then it gets easier? Will I ever feel like I am not in a state of trying not to drown??

I guess I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. At one point I was SURE I wanted to be a SAHM. I knew it. But then I did that, and as much as I loved being present for EVERY milestone, I felt like I was missing part of myself....the part that went to work and interacted with people who didn't wear diapers. But now, I'm back at work and having the exact opposite problem. I am missing it ALL! I went in to Boo's room the other morning and she was on her back (back story-she sleeps on her stomach, and has been able to roll from her back to her stomach for some months now, but to my knowledge still was unable to roll the other way).....this was HUGE! I was all grins when I proudly told the daycare teacher her "new" talent. She was not nearly as surprised as I was, mainly because Boo had been rolling that way for at least a week. Missed it. Mom guilt. Is there some happy medium that I'm totally missing? I like my job for the most part. It pays ok. It has pretty decent benefits, is close to home and flexible if I have to be out with sick babies. But I like being a mom too and all the stuff that comes with it. Can you be successful at your job and hugely successful at being a mom without feeling crazy?? Is there a book? I need it.

Silver lining I guess is that in all of the ways that it counts, I'm doing enough to not permanently scar my kids. Bella is laughing, putting her own paci in and out, eating solids (veggies), drinking 6 oz of milk 5ish times a day, scooting around and smiling ALL THE TIME. She had her 6 mo visit last week and she is growing like a weed. in the 75-80% on height and weight. Mia is officially potty trained, doesn't cry (for as long) at night when she poops....and she actually does that now almost nightly. She recognizes some letters and numbers, knows the months of the year, days of the week and ALL of the words to the Frozen song (because I'm pretty sure that indicates some developmental marker). They are both amazing, and thriving. They make the tired seem worth it. I just hope that when they look back they don't see me as some grump who rushed them through dinner and bath time, and instead they see that I was just trying to soak up the time I had and make most of the nights and weekends.

So, that concludes this month's hour of therapy. Next topic......WEIGHT LOSS! Stay tuned....

***In case you are wondering I am still married. He works very long hours, but is VERY present on weekends. If he is able to get home before Mia goes to bed, he takes that on (not always an easy task). I'm sure if he blogged, he would have one post about how hard it is to miss everything too......

So. Much. (Bella 5 Mo)

I'm not going to waste time with niceties this go round. I have A LOT to catch up on. I have been blogging in my head for like a week now and I have some good stuff to spit out. I've decided since I will likely not post next week as I'm sure I will later promise to do in this post, I will outline what we are going to cover today. That way, if you're taking notes, you can make sure not to miss anything ;)

1. Jones Family News (new jobs and baby updates)

2. Potty Training (could fall into news category, but there is a lot of Sh*t to talk about....literally)

3. Fitness update 

Let's get started:

Jones Family News:

Since the beginning of the year, Dans company announced they were liquidating. There was no date as to when, but there was certainty that his time at Flexi was coming to an end. Dan started the year job hunting. This is a difficult task for most, but I am proud to say that my husband (and also one of the smartest people I know - if not THE smartest) is a highly sought after individual. He was recruited by a company based out of Houston for a Treasurer position. (Let me rewind about 5 years. Dan sets career goals. He ALWAYS meets his goals. When we started dating, Dan told me he wanted to be a Treasurer before he was 40. His 40th birthday is May 27.) While accepting this position would mean a huge change for our family, it was something we were entertaining based on the salary, the title and the doors that would open for him and our family later, and the fact that Houston, while not Dallas, is a short enough trip to make keeping in touch with family very attainable. He was flown out twice in 2 weeks, 2 weeks after that was given an offer. The offer was far less than we could validate relocating our lives for, so he continued to search in Dallas while they "came up with a counter offer" (aka interviewed more candidates in Houston that would take the salary they were offering). Dan was interviewed for another position in Ft. Worth. This position was a small step down from where he was....and the company, while CLOSE to Dallas, would still mean at least double the commute and the salary was not compensating for that. Although it was not a position/company he loved, we were considering it because after all, I may work, but Dan pays the bills. He is the head of our house and the provider in the financial sense of things. He knows that he has to have a job and is always very proactive about his career. The Ft. Worth company offered him the job, and while we were still holding out for Houston, and Dan was still actively searching for options closer to home, he managed to delay his answer for a few days. He was offered the job on a Tuesday. On Thursday, his recruiter called and said they had a position he would be perfect for in Plano. The title was Treasury Manager (a step down), but salary was competitive and the location could not be more perfect. He interviewed Friday at 11. They called his recruiter back immediately and set up another meeting with the rest of the Board members (this company is set up more like a law firm than a corporate office). Long story short, they offered him the position of Treasurer (after meeting him and realizing what he would contribute to their company), and he accepted. In an ironic turn of events, Houston came to Dan and offered him exactly what he had asked initially along with a bonus for relocation. He turned them down as we decided that being close to family was worth a lesser salary. So, there you have it. It was a stressful few months. The prospect of moving had my stomach in knots. The prospect of Dan not finding something had my stomach in knots. There were lots of stomach knots around here.....but we are settled now. This company is going to be very good for our family in the long run, however, sometimes that comes a long with some sacrifice in the beginning. At the moment, we are sacrificing time together. Dan works long hours and of the 5 weeks he's worked there, he's been out of town for 1 full week, and is leaving again tomorrow for another week. I don't have to tell any mommy how hard it is to go it alone for a full week.....the travel is something neither of us expected and honestly, we're not sure how much will be involved total. So, we're just doing it day by day. And so far, Dan's work at the company has made a huge impact and his value is apparent to everyone who hired him. So, for now we suck it up and wait for the big pay off ;)

As for the rest of us, we are getting along fine. Bella is such a good tempered baby. I just can't get over how much she smiles and coos. Her whole face literally lights up. She loves watching her sister jump around and be silly, and I can't wait to see them interact even more. She is now sleeping very well at night. She will still wake up once or twice, but mostly to have the paci (that stupid God forsaken paci) put back in her mouth. As I was blogging in my head one night, I was going to share with all moms my thoughts on paci's. As I got up for the 900th time to put it back in her mouth (this was a rare night, but one that I really wanted to sleep), I was going to ward off paci's in general. I was going to rave about their pointlessness and how they contribute to sleep deprivation in the early months (for mom only). But then, that 901st time I put the paci  back in her mouth, she went to sleep until morning.....and I ended my blog o' rage against pacis and remembered that without it, I would have actually had to try to soothe her ;) We took her 4 mo pictures last week and I am waiting for the edits to get back to me, then I will make one big post just about her, as Dan calls her - our little PortaBella :) She's kind of a chunk. The cutest kind. She is really moving around more lately, loves the little bouncy play things and is scooting to the point where I feel like she could follow me around the house if she were so inclined. She is still not rolling from her stomach to her back yet....and I am still OK with that. Mia started sitting around 5 1/2 mo, so I feel like that is our next milestone (and eating solids) and I am really looking forward to it :)

On to the next bullet point:

Potty Training:

So, about a month and a half ago, we started actively potty training Mia. We had her in pull ups for several months before that, but we noticed that honestly she treated it just like a diaper, so we were basically just paying triple what we should have been paying for diapers. She would go tee tee on the potty whenever we put her there, but she had no interest in telling us ahead of time. Finally, when Bella started sleeping through the night and I felt like I had finally woken up from a 4 month coma, I decided to go balls to the wall and send her to school in panties. How is it that these things are so much more traumatic for me than for her?? I had anxiety about it all day! I kept checking to see if they had changed her clothes at school and I even called a couple of times (I think my crazy girlfriend came out). But, as it turns out, my kid is a rock star :) She did have 2 accidents the first week and they were both within the first 30 minutes of the first day. Since then, she has had one or two, but mostly if they are outside playing and she doesn't think to tell someone she has to go because she's preoccupied. 

Well, that paragraph was terribly misleading.....I should probably have specified that this was for tee tee ONLY. My child now has a fear of going #2. For a while she would still go in her pull up at night (we are using them until I run out at night), but now it is at the point where she just doesn't want to go. At all. Anywhere. Well this is concerning. She went about 3 days without a poop, so finally after camping out for an hour in the bathroom with no action, she waited until just before she got in the bath and pooped all over the bathroom floor.....perfect. I think the night after that, she pooped on the floor downstairs somewhere. Let me just tell you, there was about a week where all i could remember was how mad I would get at Luci for pooping inside, but here I was, assuring my 2 yr old that "everyone has accidents every once in a while"  and "it's no big deal, see mommy cleaned it up!" because every time this happened, it was a super dramatic tear filled 30 minutes of screaming. Oh....did I mention this was the week Dan was out of town??? Yea. Super. So, here we are. Now, not only will she not go in the potty, she does not want to go in her pull up either. Our routine at night generally consists of about 3 trips to the bathroom lasting anywhere from 15-30 minutes at a time, where we (being myself, Mia, Bella and Regan the pup) sit in the bathroom and hang out while Mia sits on the toilet and tries to convince me through tears that she is "done" because "it's plopped!" which it never has, and she never is. 

Seeing as how we have lots of time to visit every night I have tried to psychologize her and figure out where this fear is coming from. One night she told me "there is a tiger in my tummy, and it's trying to get out of my booty!" well, there you have it. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't poop either if I thought a tiger was going to come out of my butt. Not really sure where to go from here. I guess we just keep camping until something happens. The good news is, she went last week on the potty one night. Kind of made those hours spent on the bathroom floor worth while....almost ;) I'm hoping by the next blog I have much better news on the poop front. In the meantime, I could use some prayers....for patience, and for poop ;)

And on the last note: 

Fitness update:

Lets talk ladies. Do you remember before you got married and you had time to work out before you headed up to meet your friends for hh on an average Wednesday night? I seem to recall actually getting up BEFORE work, going to the gym, then coming home after work and running. Wow. Just wow have times changed. Here's my update....I ordered Focus T 25, because let's face it, we ALL have 25 minutes a day!! No, no we don't. I get up at 5:30 every morning and don't stop working (either job) until my last child is in bed asleep by 8:30 on a good night. Now, at 8:30 I still have not washed bottles, straightened up my house or eaten. I would have to be pretty dedicated to do all of that and then STILL do a 25 minute workout.....some nights I am that dedicated. Others, not so much. So let me sum it up.....I'm still working on finishing up week 2 while in all actuality I should be wrapping up week 5. Mind you, me and everyone in my house have been sick for going on 8 days now and my husband was out of town for another one of those weeks making my "free" time even more non-existent, so I'm not going to be down on myself about that. And honestly, if you are a working mom of two or more whose husband works long hours leaving you to do most (ALL) of the childly/housely duties alone and who also travels (what has now amounted to) 1/3 of the time and you find the time to work out 5 days a week....write a book. You will sell AT LEAST one copy.

Since I came to the realization that until my little one goes to bed and stays asleep 100% (or even 90%) of the time and my other one poops daily to avoid the getting up after bedtime to scare me into thinking she's about to poop, then I'm not going to work out 5 times a week. I will literally be thrilled if I do it twice a week.

 Despite this shift in my reality, my body image has remained the same.....and that is something that I still want to work on. I saw a friend post online about Plexus Slim. Its a drink you take with an accelerator once a day and people have been shown to have amazing weight loss results on it. I have done a lot of research on the product and it is all natural and the benefits in addition to weight loss are pretty incredible. Anyway, I plan on making a whole separate post about it once I have some before and after to share from mine and Dan's experience, but if anyone is interested in checking it out and trying it with me go to my site: plexusslim.com/margaretjones 

I joined Plexus, but mainly so I could get the products at a reduced rate. Don't worry, I'm not going to be bogging down emails or fb pressuring anyone to try it, but if the claims this company makes show up for Dan and myself, I figured it might be a product worth sharing with those who are interested. So....don't unfriend me! :)

I guess you're noticing there aren't any pictures in this post.....That will come soon (see I told you I'd promise an unrealistic new post soon ;))

Results of Phase 1......and beginning Phase 2

Ok, so I warned you that follow through was not my strong suit. I did not lie. So, instead of posting after my 7 day hunger strike cleanse, I am posting 7 days and 1 week after the fact.

My starting weight was 132. My goal (my weight at my first dr visit....when I still fit comfortably into my size 2s) is 121. In my mind, with this cleanse, I was going to drop 10 lbs (even though I was only really shooting for 7) in a week....done AND done. Yea, rather than losing 7 lbs, I further proved that you can't believe everything you read online. Mind you, I am aware that I am not a huge person, I don't have a TON of weight to lose and the weight that I do have is mainly because I just spent a year not caring what I shoved in my face. Soooo, I get that 10 lbs, even 7, would have been a lot for me to drop in 1 week. Below is a picture of me the first night:

I knew that I would likely not post (as much as I really really wanted to) on day 7, so I was smart and kept notes on my phone. I feel like these notes were necessary to capture how I was feeling during this ridiculousness....

Day 1 - All Fruit (132.4 lb)
HARD day! Need coffee. Want to punch the TV when fast food commercials come on. Cried a little when I had to toss the leftover mac n cheese from Mia's dinner. Feel bloated....and tired.
Day 2 - All Vegetables (131.4 lb)
Better day, got to eat a baked potato....highlight of my week so far!
Day 3 - Fruit AND Vegetables (no baked potato) (130.7lb)
Totally doable. Pretty hungery today....was able to eat out though AND stay on cleanse! Go Ghengis Grill. Pretty sure I cheated and had a drink today *STOP JUDGING ME!* ;) but in all fairness, I chose to do a cleanse during the most stressful week of my month
Day 4 - Banana and Yogurt (129.7)
Despite the fact that I don't love bananas or yogurt, not a horrible day
Day 5 - Chicken/Turkey and tomatoes (128.6)
I took turkey deli meat to work with me and tore into it like a savage at breakfast. it was a good day....totally manageable. I did sprinkle a little salt on my tomatoes and managed to get 4 of the 6 down during the day. Bought a rotisserie chicken for dinner and ate most of it by myself. Have I mentioned I love meat?
Day 6 - Turkey/Chicken and veggies (130.4)
I did fish instead of chicken. Did have some cocktails with dinner (it was V-Day). Super bummed that I gained weight on this stupid cleanse! Hoping its b/c my plumbing is a little clogged (*I am literaly copying verbatim what I logged on my phone....I should filter more*)
Day 7 - Cabbage Soup (129.4)
They forget to mention that the soup yields approx. 900 servings, smells good though. Hope I like it because I have a years worth sitting on my stove. First few bites - this is the best soup ever! Next few bites - wow, that is A LOT of cabbage. Trying to finish FIRST bowl - that texture is really off putting. Kind of feel like I'm going to yak in my mouth if I have to take another bite. Long day. So hungry but the thought of another bowl of soup makes me cringe. Made Mia pizza bites for lunch. wanted to ravage her plate even after she licked all the toppings off.
Morning of Day 8 - 128.4 lbs

So....there you have it. I lost 4 lbs. I starved myself and ate a lb of cabbage in 1 day....and I lost 4 lbs. Take it or leave it. I personally would not do it again. But, you never know until you try it, right?

Here's a pic of me after:

Not a huge difference, BUT I can fit into a pair of pants I could not fit into before this AND I have lost the muffin top I had in 2 of my other pairs of pants. Was it worth it? Maybe. Could I have accomplished the same thing by eating right and exercising? Definitely. But who wants to read about that business....;)

So, on to phase 2. I gave myself a week to be a fat ass, but luckily have remained at 128. I started my Focus T-25 tonight, so I will be walking around like I have arthritis for the next 3 days. I'm determined to see this through too though....and I'm getting the t-shirt dang it!

On a side note, since this is a blog that is SUPPOSED to be centered around my kiddos, I will be posting soon about how awesome they both are and what is going on in their little lives. sneak peak though: Bella's almost rolling over and we are POTTY TRAINING Mia!!

Accountability

This is gonna be a quick one, so hold on tight! I need to be held accountable.....so you've been nominated to do just that. I am almost 14 weeks post baby and I am still up 10lbs and mountains of cellulite from my pre-baby body. I don't need you to tell me that I just had a baby. I don't need to know that it takes TIME for the weight to come off. And for real, I don't want to hear that "all things considered" I look pretty good (not that I'm saying that's the case, but this is not a fish for compliments post). What I DO need is for you to tell me to SHUT UP and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Ok, Ok.....no need to be so harsh. I'm doing something. I have a plan. It's three fold (I feel like the best plans are.....and that is based on absolutely nothing scientific):
1. 7 Day cleanse (goal - drop 7-10lbs)
2. Focus t25 (a 10 week workout DVD set that I intend to order AND COMPLETE to firm up)
3. Maintain. (goal, to never again have should-be-firm parts of my body jiggle every morning when I brush my teeth)

My better half and I have decided we need to do something drastic to get the ball rolling so we decided on  a 7 day cleanse that I found on Pinterest (because where else do you look for stuff like this?) They say that you can lose 10+ lbs in a week on this cleanse. I don't know who "they" are, so in all fairness, "they" could be liars. What I do know is that we are about to see firsthand.

Most of you (I am assuming I don't have a huge following) know that follow through is not my strong suit. I tend to get distracted easily by things like toddlers and sleep.....and wine. But I figure 7 days is one week. If I can't do something for one week, then seriously.....my cellulite is not my biggest problem.

I don't normally post specifics about my weight and measurements because I like to stay in denial about what I weigh and how big my ass is, but for the purposes of accountability, I will be posting my starting weight and the results after the 7 day cleanse and then weekly(ish) during phase 2.

In case you were wondering, the cleanse I'm doing is not some crazy juice cleanse (I HAVE to chew my food) and it doesn't involve any pills. It's just mostly eating fruits, veggies, lean proteins and some weird soup:

So, there you have it. I'm laying it out and hoping that by posting it publicly and I will actually make it through all phases and come out on the other side a healthier, happier Mommy/wife/friend/daughter/blogger....wish me luck! :)

*And in case you were worried, I'm no longer breast feeding, but that is another post entirely.

Week 1: Survival (Bella 9 wks)

Well I know you have all been sitting around on pins and needles waiting to see how my first week back went. Don't you like my ego-centric delusion? I know, I dig it ;) But regardless of your "want" to know, I'm going to tell you anyway....

We survived. All of us. No doctor visits, no total breakdowns (aside from the typical nightly ones centered around....well, just about everything I ask Mia to do at night), and only the standard amount of guilt. I think for me, preparation has been key. An insane amount of preparation (and thank you to Robyn for the much needed advise on how to prepare for going back to work with 2 kids :)). On Sunday night I pick out outfits for both girls for the week and have them prepped and easily accessible. I have Bella's bottles made and in the fridge, I have one set of pump parts clean (and I clean the other in the morning). I know what I am going to wear that day and have Dan's and my lunch packed and ready to grab in the fridge. I have my alarm set and a morning bottle ready to go for Bella as well. In the morning, Dan feeds Bella and I pump. Once I'm done, I shower and get ready, we put the bouncy chair in the bathroom so he can get ready when I get out of the shower. When I'm done, I get Mia up and dress her. Dan dresses Bella and puts her in the carseat while I pack up her bottles, my pump, and lunch. Dan helps me get both girls to the car....then we're off.

I was nervous walking in to daycare the first day. Mia had been off schedule for WEEKS  and, I was of course SUPER anxious about leaving my baby for the first time. To my surprise, Mia walked into her classroom, hugged me and said "I love you, momma!" and sat at the table to have breakfast. Hurdle one - done. Then I walked across to Bella's class, she was fast asleep in her carseat. I was able to talk to her teachers and go over all the "necessary" instructions, and the teacher nodded and smiled as though she was hearing these things for the first time because she had never taken care of a newborn before.....then I kissed my sleeping baby, and walked out. Hurdle two - done (surprisingly painlessly). I didn't even cry......until I pulled out of the parking lot. I managed to pull myself together before I got to work though, because I was pretty sure hurdle three was going to be the hardest (the actual being away).

I walked in to work and had an email waiting from our CFO. I went to her office where she proceeded to tell me I was being promoted and would be getting a raise. Ummm.....Welcome back to me! I am now the analyst for the biggest clients in my division of the company. It's a lot more work, and likely more hours....but it is also a pat on the back for a job well done, and I am grateful for it. I think that cemented my decision to go back to work, and minimized my guilt. At least I was recognized for being good at my job AFTER being away for 8 weeks.

Now my first day back was on a Thursday so I only had to wait through 2 days before I got to spend time with my babies again. The weekend was wonderful and this past week was my first full week back. The girls both did amazing at daycare. Mia loves her teachers and her friends and I am always greeted with a smile and a hug. Bella is a favorite in her class (can you blame them??) and she is generally sleeping peacefully when I come to get her. Our nighttime routine is coming around. The hard part is getting them both fed once I get home. Once dinner is over, we go upstairs to bathe Mia, Bella normally sits in my lap and watches, or sleeps in Big Sister's bed until we are done. After bath time, we come down stairs and all snuggle on the couch watching Mickey until it's time for bed. Normally daddy is home by then, so he takes Mia upstairs and I am finally able to relax for the day (well after dinner at least).

I know before I was super concerned about sleep. Well, Bella is doing....better. We haven't worked out all the kinks, but its coming along. She normally falls asleep about 7 or 8 and wakes up around 12:30. After she eats, she will go back to sleep until anywhere between 4:30-5:30. I try to go to sleep around 9 at the latest, so I can catch a few zzz's before the midnight feeding. So, all in all, Im getting 6+ hours a night of broken-ish sleep. The good news, is that she is now sleeping in her pack n play for at least  the long stretch. I will put her back in there after the midnight feeding, but if she decides to pull a crazy 3AM wake up, to my bed she comes, because I do not believe in getting out of bed at 3AM anymore....no thank you. If she comes to my bed I've at least bought myself another hour and a half or so. 4:30 is still a stretch, but it's at least doable in my book.

So, there you have it. We survived. it's every bit as hard as I thought it would be, but it's also every bit as worth it.

Will I have another child in the future? No....HELL NO. But am I SUPER stoked about having 2? You betcha. I wouldn't trade it for anything for the world.

Boo Boo's first day of school

Love this smile :)

Mia is helping me feed Boo....best big sis ever!

"What's that momma?" She always asks questions she already knows the answer to ;)