Relief at last!!

Today my little angel is 4 weeks and 6 days old.....Its hard to believe we have already surpassed the one month mark! I have already started weeding out newborn jammies that she is too long for and onesies that are busting at the seems...how is that even possible? It feels like I just brought her home yesterday!!

Mia had her 4 week check up yesterday. She is doing just swimmingly...not that we expected anything less :) She weighs in at a whopping 10lbs 3.5 oz and is 21 3/4 in long. This child has increased her weight by almost 50% since she was born! wow....just wow. Every day she is becoming more alert and just this morning I got her to smile....like LEGIT smile....AT ME....SEVERAL times! This is a huge milestone. If I were organized or had a free second other than what I have at this very moment, I would immediately go update her babybook. Instead, I'm just making notes here and I'll eventually get around to the official update ;-) As of the last 2 weeks, Mia is becoming more routined. She is eating about every 3 hours (sometimes 2 1/2) during the day and about every 4-5 hours at night. During the day, she naps pretty consistenly(*she types hesitantly, knowing immediately what this means for the future of this day....*) during the day which allows me time to get things done at home and occasionally shower (although this task is completely overrated if you ask me). At night, she eats around 10:30-11 for her last feeding then we get up around 3 and then MOST of the time, she goes back to sleep until around 7-8. Now, the last couple days have completely blown my schedule out of the water, but I kind of feel like by writing it down, I am putting it on some sort of wish list, hoping it will come back soon.....I really kind of enjoy getting 8 hours (even if its split into two 4 hour increments) of sleep at night!

As for me, I am really understanding what a huge learning process this is. I feel blessed that Mia is such a good baby 90% of the time, during that 90%, I feel like mother of the year and question why people ever say this whole child rearing thing is so hard....and the other 10% I feel completely inadequate...a total mess. Its that 10% that I wonder how they ever let me leave the hospital with her, I'm clearly not cut out for this! But I digress.....lets get to the real meat and potatoes of this post: breastfeeding.

I feel like I should start by going through a typical day in my life. We  get up around 7 and I change her diaper and nurse her for about an hour. Typically she is asleep, or on the verge when i'm done so I put her either in the boppy or the swing and she sleeps for an hour or so. During that time, I get some coffee, let the dog out make the bed (if Dan hasn't already) and shower (if I plan on exiting my humble abode). Mia wakes up....she's ready to eat again. I change her diaper, and nurse her for about an hour. If I plan to leave the house, after this feeding is when I do that, so after she eats, I get her dressed and load up. I have about 2 1/2 hours before she will eat again, so I have mastered fitting what I can into that time period. When I get back home, I let the dog out, change Mia's diaper, and nurse her for about an hour. Then she sleeps.....she wakes up, I change her, nurse her, repeat....I think you get the idea. I say all that to let those who weren't already aware (which is not many) the huge amount of time I spend nursing. You would think that, knowing how many hours you spend with your nipple in your kids mouth when they are this age, God would make it feel less like medieval torture, and more like a walk in the park!

Now, please remember that this blog is about MY experiences, and only that. I'm sure some women take to breastfeeding like its no big deal. In fact, MOST women solely breastfeed until their kids are AT LEAST Mia's age and then sometimes they will start pumping. As you all know, that is not the case with me. I was reading an article the other day about what kind of "latcher" your baby was. I found Mia....she's a baracuda! She latches on like her mouth is the only thing keeping her on this earth and if she were to let go, she'd fall into a black hole never to be seen again. Possibly melodramatic, but very true. And don't get me started on unlatching, she pulls that head away from my chest at 90 mph with those lips still tight until my nipple is forced out of her mouth by sheer distance and springs back and hits me in the chest....by this point, i could probably breast feed her from across the room given that my nipple stretch capacity has far exceeded what i ever thought possible. This child never had a problem latching on. She never had a problem getting nutrients....she ALWAYS wanted to eat in the beginning! That's a blessing....I am aware that its a blessing. But nothing in this world could have prepared me for how much pain I would be in to give her those nutrients. I struggled with it from day one. And by struggle, I mean physically AND mentally. I talked to my girlfriends and relatives, they all shared the opinion that it was an unpleasant experience and assured me that the pain was temporary and that one day in the near future, it would just stop hurting, but I somehow gathered that I was A) more of a wuss and/or B) in more pain, because ALL of these women kept at it....even through the pain and never took a break by giving their babies a bottle. Well which ever it was, if it weren't for that bottle, I would not have made it. Every morning I would wake up and just say to myself, "we'll just give it one more day, if it doesn't get better, I'll just pump and give her a bottle....." and by the end of the day, I felt completely defeated, and would swear that it just wasn't for me. But, I would still get up every morning and try it just one more time. Well, THANK THE LORD, I've made it! My kid is almost 5 weeks old, but by George, I don't hate breastfeeding anymore! I can now see past the split nipples and the pain...I don't grit my teeth when she latches, then unlatches by yanking her head back as though to remove my nipple with her gums, then relatches.....my prayers have been answered! Either that, or I have completely lost feeling of my boob tips. Either way, I am so thankful. Yes, thankful. That is quite possibly what I am MOST thankful for this year, that is, aside from my healthy baby and wonderful family. Yep, numb nipples is number 3 on my list ;-)

Well, I know its been over a week since I posted and I just wrote a small novel about my sore nipples....but that is kind of my life at the moment. Sore nipples and sending texts to my husband and friends about my baby's bowel movements. Oh Lordy, don't even get me started on poop! I'll just say that today was the first day that I threw up in my mouth a little while changing her diaper....and also the first time I have had to clean poop out of anyone's belly button..... Glamorous, I know ;-) Regardless, there is still no other place I would rather be. Mia is the light of my life, and even when she's fussy and poops in her own belly button, she still makes me smile.

These last two weeks I have learned:
Mia is capable of being awake for 12 hrs straight...and it doesn't make her happy.
No matter how strongly I ask "What is it you want?", Mia will probably not be able to answer me for several years.
No matter how tired I am or what time it is in the morning, when I look down at my baby nursing and see her staring up at me lovingly, I fall in love all over again, and it always makes me smile :)

Side note: The Jones family is going to attempt our first Turkey Trot this year!! We're so excited :) Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

This year, I am Thankful for.....

Well, I've now started this blog entry 4 times. Maybe this one will make it to the world wide web ;-) I have been so scatter brained lately that I often forget why I've walked into the bathroom...even when I'm about to pee my pants. Its ridiculous.

Tomorrow marks 4 weeks with our sweet baby :) Hard to believe its been almost a month already! She changes so much from day to day, its amazing. I am so glad I can be with her all the time so I don't miss anything.

Since, as hard as I try, I am not updating this blog on a weekly basis, I thought I would go ahead and jump the gun a little and, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, tell everyone what I'm thankful for this year....and SPOILER ALERT it's not ONLY the precious baby that's sleeping in my lap as we speak ;-)

This year, I have so much to be thankful for. The whole year has been one big blessing after another. I'm so thankful that when Dan and I decided we were ready to make our family of 2, a family of 3, we were able to get 'er done in just one shot ;-) I'm so thankful that I was never sick during my pregnancy, that there were never any complications, and more importantly, even though I packed on a whopping 40 lbs....I got NO STRETCH MARKS (thank you Lord!) I'm thankful that Mia carried to term, and that when I delivered her, things went as smoothly as they could have gone, and when she got here, she was perfectly healthy. I'm thankful that my recovery was only miserable for a couple days, and that during those days, I was able to have the two people that love me more than anyone else (Dan and my mom) taking care of me. I'm so so so thankful for my husband who works so hard, allowing me to be at home with our baby during this special time....and that he's not rushing me to go back before I'm ready. Even more than that, I'm thankful that I have such an amazing partner in this. A man who transitioned so seemlessly from husband to daddy. A man who comes home after a 12 hour work day and immediatly jumps into daddy mode. He looks forward to feeding her and having her fall asleep on his chest. For that, I am so thankful. I'm aslo thankful for my family. Mia is the 4th baby girl to enter the Swindle family, yet she has been embraced and loved like she is the first and only (as were each of the others :)) I'm eternally thankful that I have had such an amazing role model during my 29 years...my mom. She is the reason I wanted to be a mom in the first place. I look forward to having the kind of relationship with Mia that I share with my own mom. I'm thankful for the support of my friends. Mia is so lucky to have so many aunts who love her so much, and each of you bring something different and special to the table. As she gets older, she will undoubtedly see exactly what I see in each of you and know why I couldn't have done this without you :) Finally, and most importantly, I am thankful for my baby girl, Amelia Anne. I'm so happy to wake up to her every morning (and midnight and 3 AM ;-)). I am thankful that I get to be with her all day and listen to her funny noises she makes when she sleeps and see the faces she makes when she wakes up, or when she's starting to get upset. I love how she loves to get a big stretch in right when she wakes up, and even though her toots are deadly, I love those too. This year has been the best I have had in my life.....I could not ask for more.

I've attached a couple of pictures, sorry most of them are when she's sleeping....that is the time I have my hands free ;)

I caught a sleep smile :)

See, she DOES have eyes ;-) They are beautiful and blue, but its hard to tell from this pic

our first shopping trip!

Mia got all dolled up for Grammy's 60th birthday party. This was after I took off the enormous headband ;-) Dan swears she is going to hate me....i disagree

Big Stretches!

In case I don't make it back on here before next week, hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving!

We all know who rules the roost now!

Well, I am now 2 weeks and 5 days in....going strong. I feel like I am finally starting to feel like myself again. I look back and the last couple weeks seem like an eternity, but they went by in a flash at the same time. I can't even imagine life before our little Mia got here. I also can't remember what it was like to be 40 weeks pregnant (that's probably a good thing when it comes to the probability of increasing our family number). I put on 40 lbs, 15.5 in, and 2 full cup sizes when I was pregnant. I have managed (by no fault of my own) to drop 24lbs and 7in  since then. Although, I fear those were the 'easy' ones to lose. From here on out, I may have to do more than stick my boob in my kid's mouth....but now the thought of that does not make me completely physically exhausted, so chances are good I will part ways with my couch at some point in the near future and start trying to make some progress on that front. Speaking of boobs, I have also put on another cup size since birth....yep, regular old Pamela Anderson over here ;-) I'm sure Dan is hoping they stick around....and we won't fill him in just yet on what happens once I stop breast feeding....no need to kill the dream this early.

As far as Mia goes....well, she's amazing :) We had her 2 week doctor visit last Wednesday at 8AM (I will have more to say about 8AM appointments later on in this post) and our little baby is growing up quick!! When she was born, she weighed 7lbs 6oz and, as babies tend to do, she lost some weight the first couple of days we were in the hospital so we left with her weighing 6lb 15oz (which is on the low end of the weight loss spectrum, but that probably had to do with her 12 hr marathon nursing spree on night 2). On our 3 day check up with the pediatrician, she told us that they generally expect them to be back up to their birth weight by their 2 week appointment. Well, Mia, not unlike her preggo Momma decided to blow those numbers out of the water! Our little one, as of last Wednesday, weighed in at 8lbs 7oz!! My jaw dropped! It kind of made 2 weeks worth of nipple mutilation seem worth while ;-) We can even fit into some of our 0-3 mo outfiits now! I just can't get over how fast she is growing.....its awesome, but kind of sad at the same time. I know everyone warned me that this time goes by quickly, but I really had no idea until now what they meant.

Aside from, her weight, Mia is changing so much from day to day. She is awake a lot more often, so we get to stare at her beautiful blue eyes and she is so aware of things around her now, its incredible :) She love sitting in her swing and staring at the mobile and moving her arms like she is conducting an orchestra....its precious, but that may be just to us because we are slightly partial and totally infatuated with her ;-) I put her on her tummy yesterday and she is already holding her head up like a pro (at least for a not quite 3 week old). Just as we expected, already very advanced for her age....we're starting her French lessons next week, you know, once she's mastered English ;-)

I said I was going to have more to post about 8AM appointments, but now that I think about it....my thoughts are probably understood by everyone out there with a kid! Manty props to you working moms.....I cannot tell you how much respect I have for what you have to do to get yourself out the door in the morning while trying to get your little one(s) fed, dressed and packed up to leave!

I think the hardest part for me so far has been the unpredictability of her schedule. Every time I think I have it down, she throws a 5 hour nap (not complaining) into the mix, or decides to pull an all nighter.....neither of which I am ever prepared for, and both of which make me feel very uneasy and highly inadequate. For the most part she is on about a 3 hour schedule as far as feeding, but I wouldn't set my watch by her or anything. Also, I feel like I'm not producing enough milk.....she is ALWAYS hungry :( We are supplementing breast milk with formula for now, and praying that eventually my body will make enough to keep her content from feeding to feeding. The hard part is judging how much formula to give her....if anyone has advice at all on this subject, PLEASE give it! I have read too many books and I feel like I'm failing every time I mix up a bottle :-/ I have spoken with the pediatrician who has assured me that I'm not, so that makes me feel better....at least a little.

We have started venturing out of the house at least daily and that is getting a little easier. She is generally pretty content for about 2ish hours before we hit meltdown mode, so its given me just enough time to meet up with my mom for lunch and MAYBE run an errand or two. I tried my hand at taking Mia to the grocery store the other day and let me just tell you, after trying to figure out how to get her stupid carseat into the basket without it tipping out over the side, and being approached by 2 different people offering help because i looked so completely out of my element.....that will be the last time we make that trip sans Daddy Jones. Ridiculous.

I guess what I have learned this week is that this child will sleep when she's tired, she'll wake up when she's hungry....and she doesnt really care what time it is when she does either! Dan and I are clearly not the ones calling the shots these days.

I finally was able to upload some pics from the hospital, so I'm attaching a few.

First minutes of her life....I'm already in love :)

cute little baby tooshies!

first dirty diaper....as i'm typing this, realizing not everyone cares about this part ;-)

Uncle Cory, and tired mommy!

Aunt Nana and Mia

Grammy and Mia

Already so comfy with Aunt Amie! so much love :)

cousin Lora telling me how tiny she is, she's already a pro!

Yia-Yia, Teagan and Mia and myself

Aunt Krs and Mia

Aunt Robin and Uncle Greg and Cousin Stella

Aunt Kels and Mia

This prob should have gone on the last blog, but here I am the morning I was induced.....40wk 4 days

Our first family pic :)

and a couple from this morning.....she helped me write this blog, or at least slept while I wrote it. That's help enough these days ;-)

October 19, 2011: The Day My Life Turned Upside Down

I'M BACK!! It's been almost 2 weeks since my life completely changed for the better. Amelia Anne Jones was born on October 19, 2011 weighing in at 7lbs 6oz and measuring 19in long. I know I've said it before, but THAT was the best day of my life.

It seems weird not to start my blog letting everyone know how "far along" I am and how I'm feeling.....so I think I'll keep that going. Today I am 1 wk and 6 days into my newest adventure....Mommyhood. I feel completely exhausted, totally inadequate, a little sore and HAPPIER than I have ever been in my entire life! Looking back on the 40weeks and 4 days that I was pregnant, I remember reading daily about what I should expect in regards to how much my baby would eat, when she would sleep, what her poop would look like, what my body would look/feel like.....and it was all a waste of time. Nothing prepares you for what comes with pushing a child through your...well, you know....and simultaneously caring for said child while trying to recover from the trauma your body just went through....on NO SLEEP! It was no joke....it's still no joke. I do remember asking every mother I know though, "How do you do it?!" and every mother responded the same "You just do." And they were all right.

This has been the most challenging and rewarding 2 weeks of my life. I may only get to sleep for 2 hours at a time, but when ever I wake up, I get to stare at the prettiest little face I've ever seen. I get to hear her coos, toots and catch her smiling even though I know she doesn't mean to. For the first time in my life, I am a kid's number 1. Regardless of who is holding her, when she cries, they look at me. When she's hungry, they hand her to me. It's the best. I wouldn't trade one midnight feeding or dirty diaper for anything in the world.

But I think I may have jumped ahead a little bit.....

For those who read my pregnancy blog, you know about me and my need to plan. And you also know that every inch of the way, this kid let me know that this was NOT ABOUT ME! She is still no different. I had every intention on waiting until the last possible moment to think about inducing and not taking any drugs during the delivery process. Well, I made it until 4 days past my due date and got an epidural at 3 cm. I was induced at 7:30am and she finally showed her cute little face at 7:14pm. All of my progress was made in the last 3 hours I was in labor. I was at a 3 for at least 6 hours, but went from a 6 to a 10 in less than 30 minutes (ouch, btw). It was ridiculous.....and totally worth it.

Dan, Mia and I got home from the hospital on the 21st and took the first two days to recoop. It was just the 3 of us, and it was a blur. My first night at home, my milk had not yet come in and Mia literally nursed for 10 hours straight. I was in tears because I was going on no sleep and had a little human gnawing on my nipples for an ungodly amount of time. But I made it through with the help of my amazing husband/baby daddy. He really was the only thing keeping me from a complete melt down. In fact, through the whole process, he has proven to be the best coach/cheerleader/shoulder to cry on....and more importantly, the best Daddy I have ever seen. The way he interacts with her makes me melt. He's so attentive and when he looks at her, you can just see how much he loves her.....aaaannnnddd.....now I'm crying (again).

Dan went back to work last Wednesday, and that was the day that I broke down (again). Let me just tell you, pregnancy hormones had nothing on what's going on in my body at the moment. I'm ridiculous. When Dan went to work, my mom took some time off to help me out. She too, has been a life saver. Today was her last day....tomorrow I completely expect to have another meltdown.

I'm quickly learning that getting out of the house is both necessary and completely exhausting. My need to plan is making it difficult for me to feel succesfull during these outings. I have realized that in order for me to be somewhere, I need to allow myself at least 2 hours to get myself and the baby ready....and often times, even that is not enough. The biggest problem, is that from feeding to feeding, there is sometimes not even 2 hours....so I would say that my hygeine may be the one that's suffering most ;-) My child, however, looks adorable every time we leave the house, and I'm pretty sure THAT's what's most important :)

This whole post is extremely scatter brained.....I will try harder to make future posts more thought out and cohesive. That will probably be easier once I'm not trying to catch up on a two week period that includes the birth of my child and my first attempts at parenting.

I'd really like this blog to be one where I reflect on what I have learned. During these two weeks, I have learned:
- It doesn't matter that she JUST ate, she may actually be hungry again
- She will wait until I sit down and get my boob out before she decides to poop
- Breastfeeding is not for the week at heart (or nipple).....This sh*t is hardcore!
- Regardless of how bad or tired I'm feeling, looking at her face, ALWAYS makes me smile :)

Here are some pics from her first two weeks, I will eventually upload the ones from our good camera, but I'm just not there yet....baby steps. So please bear with my little phone camera photos.

Fresh from the womb ;-)

on our way home from the hospital

We did a lot of this the first couple days....and now....

Taking a snack break during her newborn photo shoot

She's always so alert! and has the prettiest blue eyes :)

She sleeps with her hands over her head....just like momma

love sleeping on daddy's shoulder

best nap buddy ever :)