I think looking around this room, it’s apparent that the man we are here to celebrate left a Godly legacy. You guys probably know him as Pat Swindle, or Bobbi’s husband, or Gary and Cary’s dad….If you know him really well you’ve probably heard him called “PAA-AAT!” at some point in time by my Grandmother. I know him as Paupie.
I don’t think that any of us can say that when we heard the news of Paupie’s passing we were surprised. Sad? Yes. But, surprised? No. Over the last few years the Paupie that we knew growing up was fading. The Parkinsons took hold at the end and stole his ability to communicate and move around freely. BUT even in the worst days, there were still glimmers of his sense of humor, and when he had visitors, his face lit up….even if it was just for a minute. But the last few years is not what my brothers and I will remember about Paupie. It’s not what we will tell our kids about our Grandfather.
My brothers and I have what we have come to realize is a rare relationship with our Grandparents. Our Grandparents live within a few miles of where we grew up. They never missed a birthday party, or dance recital or scout event, soccer game, graduation, wedding ….the list goes on. They were there. For all of it. When we were growing up, we spent every Saturday night at their house. For YEARS. And every Saturday night was special. Grandmother and Paupie both made it that way. And THAT is what we will tell our kids.
We’ll tell them about the time when Greg and Toby were young and they were playing in our grandparent's front yard. Paupie was chasing them both around spraying them with the water hose when he slipped and fell on the wet grass. The boys capitalized on his moment of weakness and grabbed the hose and started dousing him with water. As it turns out, Paupie had legitimately hurt himself, and despite his very real please for them to "Go get your Grandmother, boys!", they continued to laugh and soak him with the hose. I believe they eventually got Grandmother, and obviously he lived to tell about it. It’s one of those stories that comes up at all of the family get togethers,and no one told it better than Paupie.
We’ll tell them how cool it was that he had a motorcycle. I mean NO ONE’S Grandpa had a motorcycle! He would let the boys ride it with him around the block. Remember, that was back in the days where helmets were optional, and seatbelts were merely a suggestion, and people rode in the backs of pickup trucks just for fun. Of course, I wasn’t allowed to ride on the streets with him, but he would put me on the seat in front of him and back down the drive way and ride it back up…..and for me, it was the best ride ever. 30 years later, I remember it vividly.
We’ll tell our kids about Saturday nights. About the banana splits he made for us….sparing no expense on toppings; About staying up late and watching Saturday Night Live; About how he would camp on the floor in the living room and let us wrestle and climb all over him. About how he would lay on the floor with me and make up games that we would play for hours….I mean HOURS. My favorite, one he talked about during every visit I had with him until the very end, was flip cup. We would flip a dixie cup and keep score based on whether it landed on the small or large end. H-O-U-R-S we did this. And I’ve never had more fun.
We'll tell our kids about our Sunday lunches at Ponchos. Paupie would always carry me through the line so I could see over the counter, and then he would let me curl up in his lap when I was done.....even if he was still eating. And I know a Ponchos family favorite is the time when Greg decided to wipe his chili and cheese covered mouth on Paupie's freshly starched, stark white dress shirt....
Paupie laughed with us and played with us, and never seemed to tire of us being around. I think Grandmother said on many occasions that he was just like “one of the kids” and maybe she didn’t mean it in a complimentary way, but I can assure you, it was one of his best qualities as far as we were concerned.
I know we each have things that will forever remind of us Paupie. Cory will probably remember his Sunday morning trips to 7-11 with him to get the paper and his coffee. He’ll probably think of him every time he sees a roll of certs mints. Surely Greg will think of Paupie anytime he looks in the mirror, because of all of the Swindle boys, he looks most like him. Toby, whether he realizes it or not, has stepped in as Grandmother's caretaker, just like Paupie would have wanted it. And me....I’ll think of Paupie every time I smell instant coffee, or see snackwells devils food cookies at the grocery store, or eat a bologna sandwich. I’ll think of him when I smell Aramis cologne or see an older gentleman sporting a 3 piece suit or suspenders on your average Wednesday. I'll remember Paupie sitting in his chair in the corner of his living room whenever I pick up a crossword puzzle, or a good book, or when I hear someone lighten a heavy mood with a perfectly timed and well delivered punch line. I think my mom said it best today - Paupie was a true gentleman. And those are just so rare.
No, none of us were surprised to hear he passed. We’re all sad that he’s not here with us anymore, but I feel like I can speak for us all, when I say that we are so relieved that he is the Paupie we remember now. He’s whole again. And now he’s home.
I have to tell you - there was a time that getting up in front of a room full of people to share memories that I would most definitely cry through would have been the last thing on my to-do list. I did it for my Paupie. He had a way of making you feel confident. He just loved so big. And he helped me through it. And I know he'll continue to help me through the hard things in my life.
When I was writing this eulogy (of sorts) out, I could have gone on and on. And I just feel so lucky that I have so many memories with my grandfather. He was such an amazing man, and even though I know he's no longer here with us, I'm 100% positive that he's looking down on us and he'll be there waiting for us when we get to Heaven.
