We survived. All of us. No doctor visits, no total breakdowns (aside from the typical nightly ones centered around....well, just about everything I ask Mia to do at night), and only the standard amount of guilt. I think for me, preparation has been key. An insane amount of preparation (and thank you to Robyn for the much needed advise on how to prepare for going back to work with 2 kids :)). On Sunday night I pick out outfits for both girls for the week and have them prepped and easily accessible. I have Bella's bottles made and in the fridge, I have one set of pump parts clean (and I clean the other in the morning). I know what I am going to wear that day and have Dan's and my lunch packed and ready to grab in the fridge. I have my alarm set and a morning bottle ready to go for Bella as well. In the morning, Dan feeds Bella and I pump. Once I'm done, I shower and get ready, we put the bouncy chair in the bathroom so he can get ready when I get out of the shower. When I'm done, I get Mia up and dress her. Dan dresses Bella and puts her in the carseat while I pack up her bottles, my pump, and lunch. Dan helps me get both girls to the car....then we're off.
I was nervous walking in to daycare the first day. Mia had been off schedule for WEEKS and, I was of course SUPER anxious about leaving my baby for the first time. To my surprise, Mia walked into her classroom, hugged me and said "I love you, momma!" and sat at the table to have breakfast. Hurdle one - done. Then I walked across to Bella's class, she was fast asleep in her carseat. I was able to talk to her teachers and go over all the "necessary" instructions, and the teacher nodded and smiled as though she was hearing these things for the first time because she had never taken care of a newborn before.....then I kissed my sleeping baby, and walked out. Hurdle two - done (surprisingly painlessly). I didn't even cry......until I pulled out of the parking lot. I managed to pull myself together before I got to work though, because I was pretty sure hurdle three was going to be the hardest (the actual being away).
I walked in to work and had an email waiting from our CFO. I went to her office where she proceeded to tell me I was being promoted and would be getting a raise. Ummm.....Welcome back to me! I am now the analyst for the biggest clients in my division of the company. It's a lot more work, and likely more hours....but it is also a pat on the back for a job well done, and I am grateful for it. I think that cemented my decision to go back to work, and minimized my guilt. At least I was recognized for being good at my job AFTER being away for 8 weeks.
Now my first day back was on a Thursday so I only had to wait through 2 days before I got to spend time with my babies again. The weekend was wonderful and this past week was my first full week back. The girls both did amazing at daycare. Mia loves her teachers and her friends and I am always greeted with a smile and a hug. Bella is a favorite in her class (can you blame them??) and she is generally sleeping peacefully when I come to get her. Our nighttime routine is coming around. The hard part is getting them both fed once I get home. Once dinner is over, we go upstairs to bathe Mia, Bella normally sits in my lap and watches, or sleeps in Big Sister's bed until we are done. After bath time, we come down stairs and all snuggle on the couch watching Mickey until it's time for bed. Normally daddy is home by then, so he takes Mia upstairs and I am finally able to relax for the day (well after dinner at least).
I know before I was super concerned about sleep. Well, Bella is doing....better. We haven't worked out all the kinks, but its coming along. She normally falls asleep about 7 or 8 and wakes up around 12:30. After she eats, she will go back to sleep until anywhere between 4:30-5:30. I try to go to sleep around 9 at the latest, so I can catch a few zzz's before the midnight feeding. So, all in all, Im getting 6+ hours a night of broken-ish sleep. The good news, is that she is now sleeping in her pack n play for at least the long stretch. I will put her back in there after the midnight feeding, but if she decides to pull a crazy 3AM wake up, to my bed she comes, because I do not believe in getting out of bed at 3AM anymore....no thank you. If she comes to my bed I've at least bought myself another hour and a half or so. 4:30 is still a stretch, but it's at least doable in my book.
So, there you have it. We survived. it's every bit as hard as I thought it would be, but it's also every bit as worth it.
Will I have another child in the future? No....HELL NO. But am I SUPER stoked about having 2? You betcha. I wouldn't trade it for anything for the world.
Boo Boo's first day of school
Love this smile :)
Mia is helping me feed Boo....best big sis ever!
"What's that momma?" She always asks questions she already knows the answer to ;)
